Monday, April 29, 2013

Curious Tale of Prophet Muhammad’s Love Affair with Umm Hani

Muslims are told that the Miraculous Night Journey (Isra’ Mi’raj) took place because Allah wanted to bring some consolation to Muhammad the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him.  It took place in the tenth year of Prophethood, after he had lost his beloved wife, Khadijah, and his protective uncle, Abu Talib.

It was also to give him some “firsthand experience” about the glory of God.  He was transported to Seven Heavens, where he “saw” the glory of God with his naked eyes.  And the Prophet was also shown some “preview” about the life in the Hereafter, where both Paradise and Hell, yet to take place in our time, were shown to him with his naked eyes.  It was “time travel” before the idea of time travel was even conceptualized.

But according to one deranged theory, which seems to find some support in the Internet, the story of the Miraculous Night Journey was only his own concoction.  Muhammad was caught in a very embarrassing position with his cousin Umm Hani.  He was caught red handed with her in her bed, in her house, with his pants down.  Not knowing what else to say, his imaginative mind quickly made up the miraculous journey: first from Makkah to Jerusalem, henceforth to Seven Heavens.

Let’s quote what this theory says:

Muhammad passionately fell in love with her [Umm Hani], but for some unknown reason his beloved uncle, Abu Talib did not give her hand to Muhammad when Muhammad requested. Instead, she was married to a pagan, Hibayrah. But Muhammad’s adulterous relation with Umm Hani (real name Fakitah, also known as Hind) continued. He used to sleep in her house, when no one was around.

Such an incidence took place when Muhammad returned from his failed mission at Taif, after the deaths of his first wife, Khadijah and his uncle Abu Talib. Returning from Taif, he took shelter in Ka’ba. But at nightfall, when all were asleep, he stealthily went to Umm Hani’s house and spent the night with her. When the people did not find him at Ka’ba, they went looking for him and when he was discovered in the house of Umm Hani, he was embarrassed, so was Umm Hani.

To hide the truth, he concocted the story of his night journey to Jerusalem and Paradise from Umm Hani’s house (more precisely, from her bed), which many converted Muslims found too incredible to believe and left Islam. This made him sad and withdrawn. Soon, after such an adulterous affair was leaked out, he left Mecca and settled in Medina. But his undying love for Umm Hani remained aflame.(1)

I quote the above exactly as it is written.  It shows how far the imagination of the enemies of Islam can go.  In a single scoop, three ideas are rubbished in: (1) that Muhammad was passionately in love with his cousin but her love was unrequited due to the objection of his uncle; (2) that after getting caught fornicating with his cousin, he concocted the story of Miraculous Journey to get out of embarrassment; and (3), because of that adulterous relationship, he migrated to Madinah.

One can see that even the Seerah books of the Prophet written by the Orientalists, designed to disparage him, would not have stooped that low.   For that reason, none of these allegations need to be defended, for they are all rubbish.  I have mentioned the above tale only to introduce the name of the alleged adulterous partner of the Prophet (God forbid), Umm Hani. 

Who is she?

Umm Hani is Fakhitah/Hind bint Abi Talib b. 'Abd al-Muttalib b. Hashim b. 'Abd Manaf b. Qusayy b. Kilab b. Murra.  She was the sister of Ali, the daughter of Abu Talib and Fatimah Asad.  She was the cousin of the Prophet. 

Muhammad’s alleged love story with her has been gaining some interest of late, although such tale can hardly be found in any Seerah literature, classical or contemporary, written by Muslim or otherwise.  One Internet site (by a well-meaning Muslim woman) says that she was the Prophet’s first love.  I find this curious, because none of the Seerah books that I have read (and I have read plenty), ever put it that way. 

There is, however, a famous hadith attributed to Ibnu Abbas, saying that the Prophet wanted to marry her, but her father, Abu Talib, married her to someone else.  Abu Talib was quoted as saying that they (Abu Talib and Muhammad) were already closely related to each other through blood, and that he wanted to return the favor by marrying her to another man (Hubayra, or Hibayrah according to the spelling in the above quotation).

There is also another famous hadith saying that the Prophet proposed to marry her again, but this time, it was she who rejected the proposal, on the ground that she did not want to bother him with her small children.  She was quoted as saying: “I loved you in Jahiliyya, what to say in Islam? but I have young children and hate that they should bother you.”

There is yet another hadith which says that when her children attained puberty, she went to the Prophet.  Umm Hani said to him she was ready to marry him, but this time, it was the Prophet who turned her down.

Putting aside the authenticity of these traditions, there is nothing to suggest that the Prophet was madly in love with her, or even to suggest that she was his first love.  As to his adulterous relationship with her, we can just dismiss it outright, without further argument required. 

If he was truly madly in love with her, would his uncle object to his proposal, if ever he made one?  There was hardly anything his uncle would not have done to him.  What more if both were passionately in love with each other. 

Furthermore, it takes some imaginative mind to construe the word “love” as uttered by Umm Hani’s in the second hadith to indicate that it was romantic love.  It could well be the love of one cousin to another.

Most importantly, if the Prophet was madly in love with her, why on earth did he turn her down when she was ready to marry him, as the third hadith suggest. 

Let’s analyze their so called love story into perspective.

We know for certain that the Prophet died in 11 AH when he was 63 years old.  He married Khadijah when he was 25, and Khadijah died when he was 50. 

I have not yet been able to find the year of Umm Hani’s birth, but she was said to die in 41 AH, about 30 years after the death of the Prophet.  If their age was about the same, then Umm Hani had lived a long life, about 90 years, plus minus.  We have to keep this age thing in mind because, for Umm Hani to be the Prophet’s first love, she has to be about the same age as the Prophet’s, or perhaps slightly younger.  Else, she was too young for the Prophet to marry her before he married Khadijah, in which case Umm Hani cannot be his first love. 

Now, we do not know when the alleged first proposal was made (the one rejected by Abu Talib), but we know that the second proposal was made after the conquest of Makkah.  The conquest of Makkah took place in 8 AH.  By then the Prophet was already 60 years old.  If Umm Hani’s age was about similar to the Prophet, then she must have been about 60 as well, or slightly younger, or even slightly older. 

If such is the case, why would Umm Hani refuse him by giving such a lame excuse?  She said: “But I have young children and I hate that they should bother you.” 

Umm Hani had four children.  All of them were still very young during the conquest of Makkah.  Most did not reach their puberty as yet.  If the age of Umm Hani was about similar to the Prophet, then she must have given birth in her late forties and early fifties. 

Could that be the case?  It is highly unlikely, of course, because that would be the age when woman starts having menopause.

It seems very like likely, therefore, that during the conquest of Makkah, Umm Hani must have been rather young.  She was perhaps in her forties, or thirties.  That being the case, then Umm Hani must have been a toddler or was just a little girl when the Prophet married Khadijah.  For this reason, Umm Hani, therefore, cannot be Muhammad’s first love, unless if you buy the idiotic idea that Muhammad the Prophet was a pervert.

This so-called love affair between the Prophet and his cousin, Umm Hani, is nothing but a fanciful tale.  The Prophet’s proposal to marry her after the conquest of Makkah only suggest that he wanted to honor her, as he had honored other women such as Umm Habibah, Hafsah, Juwairiyah and Safiya, by marrying them. 

Besides, Umm Hani, on her part, would not have refused him, in spite of her young children, if her cousin (i.e., the Prophet) was madly in love with her.  She would not have refused him if truly she was his first love. 


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  1. Then you need to counter the faith freedom people.

    1. Thanks for the suggestion my friend, but when the idea presented is too ridiculous, such as the one mooted by, we do not need to waste our time answering them. Suffice to point out the matter in hand, present the actual fact, and caution the Muslims of the malice behind the ridiculous piece of rubbish.

      Besides, I am too old to entertain such nonsense.

    2. There is never SMOKE without FIRE!!!

    3. Really? I thought electronic cigarette has no fire. How little I know.

  2. Thank younsir for the detailed unbiased report.
    I was searching for um.hani while reading had is in English. I would say the details internet is dangerous. Thank God that He led me to your blog
    Jazakallah khair

  3. The reason for refutation is absurd. The first thing you say is how can the prophet marry someone quite young. If he can marry Ayisha when she was only 6 years old, why can't he marry umm Haani who could be older? Second reason you have quoted is why did she refuse to marry when he proposed again. How can this be a reason? In your eyes, the prophet might be a great man, but for umm Haani who might have seen him since childhood and also very well knows who he is from the episode of meraj, she could have simply refused.

    1. Since you appear to believe in the alleged adulterous episode, I will not condescend myself to say anything more.

  4. I am not a person who simply blindly argue with people. I genuinely wanted to know if the allegations are true or false. You know there is an allegation and you have already decided to refute it by putting in your blogpost. Is it not necessary that your refutation have to be based on evidence? Your arguments are purely assumptions and I need to know what are the real reasons that this particular allegation is false.

    1. Dear brother Irshad,

      I take that your concern is genuine, and going by your name, you are a Muslim.

      Now, a Muslim is only a Muslim if he testifies that "There is no God but Allah, and that Muhammad is God's Messenger."

      Meaning, no man can consider himself a Muslim unless he testifies (not only accepts) that Muhammad is Allah's Messenger. And no Muslim worth his salt would even dare to think that God's Messenger can be an adulterer, for that not only insult the Prophet, but more importantly, it is an insult to Allah Himself. Adultery is one of the major sins. Would Allah be so low as to choose an adulterer to be His chosen Messenger, to carry out His message to be the Guide to the mankind? Can't you see how ridiculous the whole things are.

      For that matter, the above is sufficient reason to dismiss the allegation without further argument. It is for that reason that I dismiss the allegation outright. I quote the story only to allude to the named person in the baseless story, who is a good woman herself. And to show how low the enemies of Islam would stoop.

      In your original posting, you said, "In your eyes, the prophet might be a great man, but for umm Haani who might have seen him since childhood and also very well knows who he is from the episode of meraj, she could have simply refused."

      Now my friend, if you think carefully of the implication of what what you write, then you should know that Umm Hani was "the willing partner" in the alleged passionate affair, making her an adulterer as well. Unless if you consider her unwilling. But if she was an unwilling partner, then the Prophet is not only an adulterer, but a rapist as well, God forbids.

      All the above made me dismissive of your comment, not wanting to say anything more.

      In short, the allegation needs not be entertained because it is against the very nature of Prophethood, and against the character of the Prophet himself. A Prophet must be chaste; an adulterer is not.


    2. As for the empirical evidence, no seerah book, nor authentic hadith, ever mentions the affair between Muhammad the Prophet and his cousin, Umm Hani, although Muhammad's private life is extensively covered in the Quran, the seerah books and the hadith collections. The above writer makes the allegation without quoting any of those references. The reason: because there is none. Yet he dares to say that Muhammad continued his adulterous episode with Umm Hani even after he failed to marry her.

      The writer probably comes across a tradition stating that during the Night Journey, the Prophet was at the house of Umm Hani. The writer seizes this opportunity, saying that the Night Journey never took place, but only a concoction by Muhammad because he was caught having sex with Umm Hani. But who caught them? If truly that is the case, why did the Prophet took three years to migrate. Would not his followers be seriously alarmed by this affair, on the ground that Muhammad breaks his own teaching, engaging in cardinal sin himself.

      The writer says after the affair was leaked out, he migrated. After three years? Come on. So he was caught but everything was kept secret? Who caught him? Who leaked it out after three years? If it was kept secret, why the need to concoct the Night Journey episode, which he declared to the people in Makkah next day. One has to be a total ignoramus to believe in such an allegation. Even an ignorant Muslim would not buy such a story, on account that it contradicts the very nature of Muhammad being the Prophet.

      But as for Umm Hani being Muhammad's first love, this is not a matter to do with Prophethood. I write what I believe based on what I know. If I am right, then I am right; if I am wrong, then I am only human, not free from making mistake. It is just that based on evidences available, such a case seems highly remote to me. If someone can come up with clear evidence that she is indeed his first love, then so be it. It does not really matter one way or another.

      But to suggest that Muhammad had an adulterous relationship with her, then it is a different matter altogether.

      I think I have written too long already on this matter. It is not my policy to engage in senseless allegation like this. But I take it for granted that you have genuine concern, and for that you deserve some response.


  5. your argument about umme hani's age is pretty absurd, that she must've been reaching menopause by 40 etc. khadijah married the prophet in her 40s and went on to have his children. so menopause is out of question in this case. as a muslim, i know my prophet couldnt have done what the allegations suggest. likewise, kindly use sound proof to support your response to the allegation rather than the ones you've written here. thank you.

  6. You are a true mujahid of Islam. I don't have words to praise you.....

  7. Sir,

    Had Muhammad (SAW) indeed visited a house, any chance that it was primarily to meet Fatimah Binti Asad who shared the same grief following the demise of Abu Talib?

    May Allah bless you to continue writing Seerah; a legacy not many have the in-depth knowledge, wisdom and talent as you are.

    1. That the Prophet visited the house, this seems established by the tradition. As to the possibility that he visited his auntie, sharing her grief for recently losing her husband, this is also very possible. In any case, regardless of the purpose of the visit, not even his enemies in those days think that Muhammad went there to have sex with his cousin. Such a thing did not even cross their fertile and imaginative minds.

      Even the hostile orientalists who consider the Prophet's marriage to his other cousin (Zaynab) to be scandalous, do not concoct such a story about Muhammad and his cousin Umm Hani.

  8. Allah o akbar !! Never does ever our prophet can do anything of the sort .may Allah guide the one who wrote all this. Please dont quote such words of enemies of islam .our prophet is beloved to us muslims .pleass dont hurt our sentiments .our prophet is rehmat .none of the prophet can indulge in such act and create stories of their own .Allah o akbar !!